What is fashion right now?

I love fashion, and since it was just New York Fashion Week earlier this month (aka one of the most anticipated events in the fashion world), I was inspired. I’m no fashion expert–I don’t know how to pronounce half the haute couture brand names, I can’t spot the difference between designer labels and their diffusion lines, and quite frankly runways bore me. But I am a reading expert and I go through 3-6 magazines every month. I can always name the latest fashion trends. Unfortunately, for the past year or so they’ve been less than thrilling.

Let’s start with cropped pants.

I get the appeal, especially in the summertime. Shorts still aren’t considered office appropriate, and cropped pants bridge the gap between a 95 degree high with 80% humidity, and an office air conditioned to 60 degrees. But they’ve gone from a spring/summer item to a year round staple. I’m tired of having my ankles out! And now all the full length pants are super wide leg. Can we bring back normal pants please?

We have also done ruffles  absolutely to death.

Ruffles on necklines. Ruffles on dresses. Ruffles on skirts. Ruffles on sleeves. Ruffles on pants. PANTS! Am I dressing to live my life or to visit Louis XIV’s court? And the ruffles on tops always look pirate-y or add too much fluff to my bust area. Not to mention that ruffles are a nightmare to launder. They get all wrinkled and weirdly shrunken up, so you have to spend precious time ironing them out. It’s annoying.

Next I want to talk about whatever the hell is going on with women’s tops.

bell sleeve

If I see one more damn bell sleeve I’m going to scream! It was cute at first. But the bells keep getting bigger, and now they have ties. How is anyone suppose to eat in these? Or type? And apparently all the extra fabric that’s going to these silly sleeves is being taken out from my shoulders.

cold shoulder

The cold shoulder trend needs to die. Quickly. It was fine in summer 2016 but it just kept going. I’ve seen shoulder cut outs on wool sweaters and velvet dresses. It doesn’t make sense and it’s near impossible to wear for girls whose cups spilleth over. And I know that five years from now we’re going to look back on this trend as utterly ridiculous so let’s just cut the cord now.

Next I have a bone to pick with athleisure. Now listen, I love leggings as much as the next girl. They are an absolute necessity for workouts (seriously, did we really used to go to the gym in sweatpants?), they let you survive the hell that is now security check at the airport, you can wear a dress in the wintertime even if it doesn’t come down to your ankles, and period bloat isn’t as much of a problem when your pants are stretchy and have no zippers. They’re great!

However….you can have too much of a good thing. WHAT ARE THOSE?

I’m fine with sweatsuits. But I’m not fine with actual suits made out of sweatpant material. Nope, not doing this with y’all, count me out. *pulls parachute ripcord* BYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

So those are my five fashion pet peeves. Feel free to chime in with yours in the comments!

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